We actually moved both my husband's mother and my mother into our home to provide care for them at different times in the last several years. Here is how it all came about.  Almost six years ago, my husband's brother gave us a week's notice that we had to take care of my mother-in-law. He said he was overwhelmed and he needed to take care of his own marital problems before he had a calamity. So, we moved my mother-in-law into our home and made a bedroom on the first floor of the house.

She was unsteady on her feet and no longer drove. She also had cancer and needed to see the doctor every other week. Both my husband and I were working full time and our adult children were out of state on their own. Luckily, Mom found a new social group through our church and they took her to the doctor and out for lunch. Within three months, Mom became more fragile and ill because the chemotherapy just wasn't working. She needed to go onto portable oxygen and then moved to a nursing home on Title XIX after we went through $15,000 in care costs.  While at the nursing home, Mom had given up and refused to let them shower her. Within two weeks there, she died.  If I had it to do over again, I would have hired someone to stay with her in our home to the end. It would have been easier on her and on us. We never really coordinated with Hospice for her.

A year later, my mother sold her home and paid us to make a lovely private apartment addition on our home. She was actively involved in designing the apartment, which allowed her to exercise her creativity and business sense.  She is 88 years old now, doing less than she used to, but still drives herself where she wants to go. Mom had a breast cancer lumpectomy four years ago and is currently on Tamoxifen. This drug has many side effects that bother her: skin rash, loss of weight and hair loss. She is also on lot of other medications for her heart arythmia and her blood pressure.  She is somewhat forgetful, but still pays her own bills. We eat dinner together and sometinmes she helps with the cooking. She is a real pleasure to have with us. My brother helps out by taking care of her investments. One thing that would be nice would be to have family Skype visits for her with my brothers and sisters.